I was born in a small town outside of Nashville, Tennessee. My parents and big sister moved to Tennessee from Ohio just a few weeks before I was born.  My mom and dad never quite knew what to do with me, but it wasn’t until kindergarten that I began to realize just how different I really was.

One thing that’s important to understand is that I’ve always been a giant. Not in the “live on a cloud only accessible by beanstalk” way, but more of the “stupid tall and always standing out like a sore thumb” way. When I started kindergarten, I was five feet tall and weighed more than 100 pounds. Without there really being an understanding of things like autism spectrum disorder back in 1989, I just chalked up my being isolated, quirky, and overall very weird to being a giant. I feel like this helped set the stage for my future as I didn’t know I had a “disorder”. As far as I knew I was just... different. 

Despite being a target for bullies, not to mention a bit of a social outcast, just like anyone else, I still had a want, and a need, to be social. I had a few good friends early on, but it wasn’t until seventh grade that I really felt accepted. For the first time I had people around that made an effort to really find a way to communicate with me. I hadn’t realized before then that I was just tolerated but not really accepted. My basketball coach took a special interest in me. My dad had died a few years earlier, and he was the first person I remember that really made an effort to get on my level, find a way to communicate with me, and also teach me about life. It meant so much to me that someone would make that effort just to make someone else’s life better. And before you think it, it was not because of my LACK of skills on the court (I’m definitely NOT a natural athlete).

Through school and then into work situations, I continuously strived to be more “normal” socially. Despite often being oblivious to my own issues, I was always very sensitive to those of the people around me. I had always been taught to treat others how you wanted to be treated and to put yourself in someone else's shoes before you judge them. This attitude went a long way in fostering good relationships with peers and clients alike, even when I was always a bit more out there than the rest of them.

Part of my early job experiences were working in a commission based sales environment in the wireless industry. I have a personal belief that everyone should have to spend a year in commission sales. Whether you’re good at it or not, it helps clarify what your skill set really is. That environment can be a lot of fun, but there is a significant downside. It’s very hard to hit a target or accomplish a goal that is constantly changing... especially for someone on the spectrum. In that world, just as the employee adjusts to the current system, in order to avoid paying out a ton of money, the company changes it. While this makes sense for the company, it can be very hard on the sales team. This is where I started to see just how much a good communicating manager can make a difference. I had a manager named Brett that would dig in to find out why the changes were happening and how they made sense in the big picture. Then he would share that knowledge with his team. It may not make the task easier, but it does, at least, make his team feel valued. 

In my early thirties, after my discovery of being on the spectrum, I was working a job I loved where I was giving back to the world, but I had a manager from hell. At this point, I had become very direct and vocal about my needs and how I communicate. For one reason or another though, this seemed to go in one ear and out the other. This boss also seemed to thrive on chaos, sewing seeds of discontent among everyone and even sharing private statements with others just to stir up hard feelings. I went up the chain of command as far as I could, talking with people whom I truly respect but to no avail. I will fully admit that I believe that once you hire someone, you do everything you can to develop that talent and not get rid of them, but this might be an exception. I felt like it was important to stay in this job because of the service I was doing, but it ate away at me to the point where I almost drove into the river at the end of each day until I made a change. 

I’ve spent the last number of years since then as a brand designer and management coach, working with amazing businesses of all types. Through these experiences and sharing my unique perspective with my clients, I’ve been able to help make real change in how they communicate in their organizations. It’s a heck of a thing when the weird guy who always was watching intently from the sidelines gets tagged in and makes a big difference!